40 Ways To Tick Off The Order Of The Phoenix
by DrunkYouthProdigiesAssociation
Summary: Sydney Black is bored, so what does she do for a summer? Well, she comes up with 40 ways to tick off the Order of the Phoenix. I laughed a lot while writing it so you better laugh a lot while reading it! R&R, any flames will be used to toast marshmallows!
1. Of Craziness and CloseCalls

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40 Ways To Tick Off The Order of the Phoenix

40 Ways To Tick Off The Order of the Phoenix

A/N: I know I haven't updated in a while, and all of the stories will be updated soon, it's just that Tracy(I WILL FIND YOU!) hasn't sent them back to me yet I write it and she edits it, so I'm STILL WAITING! Anyway, I got another friend of mine to edit this so ta-da! I have something new! bows to all the applause I got the idea for this off of a YouTube video and I heart the person who emailed me with this idea (Thanks Kristena!). Anyway, here it is, Enjoy!

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Hello everyone, my name is Sydney Black, as in Sirius Black's daughter. I have to stay at the Order Headquarters for the rest of the summer and I decided to have a little fun with it. As the daughter of a former Marauder, pranks run in my blood and that gives me a little bit of an edge in this game. So as in every chess game, white moves first. Which color do you think I am?

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I was sitting at the dining table, waiting for the Order Meeting to start as Snape walked in. I started examining my nails and humming 'Secret Agent Man' as Snape took his seat.

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As Snape sat down, he glared at me. I smiled innocently and conjured a halo that only he could see as he glared at me. He saw the halo and glared at me for the rest of the meeting, as I discreetly pointed to the halo.

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As I stomped loudly in the entry hallway, Sirius' mum's portrait opened up and started screaming. Me, being the crazy ass that I am, started shouting right back.

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As Sirius and Remus ran to close the portrait, I protested loudly, stating that I was winning and that they had to give me a few minutes.

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I fell to the floor 'sobbing' when they finally closed it. When Sirius put his arm around my shoulder I pushed his arm away and ran up the stairs and sat on my bed laughing so hard that I almost fell off.

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I ran down the stairs and heard everyone having breakfast. I pulled out my wand and cast the 'Sonorus' charm and some other extremely complicated charms to make the house elf heads tacked to the walls sing. I ran back up the stairs and got dressed, then daintily walked down the stairs. The house elf heads were singing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' and I joined in, singing loudly and off-key. Looking into the dining hall, I saw everyone covering their ears and trying to figure out what was going on. I hid my smirk and walked into the hall with a smile, sat down and started piling food on my plate as if nothing was wrong.

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As another order meeting was about to start, and everyone was filing into the dining hall, I started doing the 'Dada dada dadadadadadada dum dadadadadadada' of the Pink Panther music. Snape and Dumbledore looked HIGHLY annoyed.

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I was on the stairs, heading to my room, and I saw Harry Potter on the stairs.

"Hey, Scar-Head, the stairs aren't meant for slowing walking down, they are made for going from one place QUICKLY to another. I think you missed the word QUICKLY in that statement." Harry and I are friends, and he knew I was kidding, but I bet he didn't know about the Scar-Head thing...

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As I wouldn't be here for Christmas this year, I decided to give Sirius his present early, and he said he would owl me my present as he hadn't even THOUGHT about it yet. He sat on the couch like a five year old, quickly tearing off the wrapping paper that covered the cardboard box. He threw the lid off the box and took the outfit out of the box. He held it up to himself and I burst out laughing so hard that I fell off the chair-arm I was sitting on. When he looked down to what he had held up, he was looking at a French Maid's outfit.

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As I finally was able to stop laughing, I saw that Sirius had lit a fire. He threw the outfit in the fire, as well as the box and ALL the wrapping paper. I put on my best 'offended' look and stormed out of the room.

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One night around midnight I had went down to the kitchen to get a glass of milk, when I saw Remus sitting at the table with a cup of tea. I grabbed my milk and sat down at the table.

"Remus can I ask you a question?" He nodded and I continued.

"Were you in the movie 'Blood and Chocolate'?" He looked confused as I told him to never mind and I walked out of the room, chuckling slightly, untouched milk in hand.

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As I walked in on Molly, Ronald and Ginevra cleaning one of the closets, I saw a boggart pop out. Molly was standing in front of the children so she was the object for the boggart. The boggart turned into a dirty dish and Molly shrieked and fainted. I couldn't help but laugh because there were people with many bigger fears and they didn't react half as bad.

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As Molly was cooking, the pot of Spaghetti sauce exploded on the stove, as did the soup and the boiling water for the pasta. I pointedly rolled my eyes each and every time that something went wrong.

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Draco and I are best friends and I decided to ask his dad to custom design this shirt for me. It says 'Death Eater and Proud of It' and today, that was what I was gonna wear. I put it on and passed everyone slowly, feeling happier as I saw their expressions of outrage.

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When I was in Diagon Alley, I saw the cutest dress in black. I owl ordered it and said to deliver it to Snape's teaching quarters. I also made them attach a note that said, "Here's a dress to match your hair/hat, not sure which one it was."

Right before an order meeting started, Kingsley and Hermione were having a discussion on politics. Hermione left to go get a glass of water when I walked over to Kingsley.

I waggled my eyebrows while saying, "You know she wants to have your children, right?"

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Everyone was taking off their cloaks and hanging them up in the closet by the door. When the order meeting started nd Dumbledore asked if anything was wrong, I called out, "Cloaks, that's what! We're supposed to be a group of superheros, why don't we wear capes?"

And I tried to keep from smiling as everyone who knew what a cape was frowned, and everyone else looked really confused.

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All the Order Members were on a training mission and I was sitting this one out. I pointed behind Mad-Eye and screamed, "DEATH EATER!!"

He spun around and stunned Tonks, Bill Weasley, and Sirius. I almost fell of the wall that I was sitting on because I was laughing so hard, and Harry was right beside me doing the same thing.

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Kreacher was walking around 'cleaning' and muttering when I crouched down next to him.

"Yes Misses Black?" he questioned.

"You know my daddy," I said this with SUCH disgust..."loves you very much, right?"

"No, Misses Black, Kreacher didn't."

"Why don't you go give him a big hug?"

"Yes Misses Black" And he popped away, and I laughed when I heard Sirius shreak like a little girl.

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One early morning, Tonkks and I were drinking tea and I asked a question which made her do a spit-take with her tea,

"Do you think scars are sexy?"

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"Cause I so totally do! Scars are SO totally hot!" And I watched as her face got redder and redder.

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A/N: Ta-da! I'll be updating with the last 19 sometime soon. If you R&R, I'll give you a cookie!


	2. Of Pranks and Praytells

A/N: I get to update! It's 4am! I'm really tired! I know you don't care! *laughs at her sing-songy-voicey-thingy* Anyway peeps, enjoy this chapter!

P.S. This is the last one! *cries* I'm sad too!

Of Pranks And "Praytells"

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I walked into the Parlor and saw Sirius holding a duster and looking exhausted as he plopped onto the couch with a tired sigh. I saw that he was cleaning the fire-place with a duster and decided that my dad could use a little annoyance from me.

"You missed a spot!" And that was all it took for Sirius to scream and send me "To you're room young lady!"

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Whenever an order meeting started, everyone was told, including Dumbledore, to put their wands in a box and give it to Harry so that there would be no magical violence. I took the box from Harry's room when he wasn't looking and hid each of the Order Member's wands over various parts of the planet, and left a floating piece of paper that said, "Have fun on your Easter Egg Hunt!" right in front of the door.

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Dumbledore was giving us Junior Order Members (the ones under 25) new assignments. When I heard mine was to "Follow our Boy-Who-Lived" my immediate reply was a salute and a "Yes O' Wise One!" with a snicker, of course.

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During an Order meeting, I was staring out the window and saw a tree full of bluebirds. I raised my hand and Dumbledore answered with a quick, "Yes Ms. Black?"

"Can we change the Order's name to 'The Order Of The Bluebird? Because phoenix's are so overused these days, and the bluebirds are really starting to get jealous."

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The topic of the First War arose, and immediately, me being the metamorhpagus that I am, changed some of my hair to colored dreads and baggy clothes with bling and did the whole American shabang, "Yo! The old Order got owned! So, ma homies, let's drop dis topic and get on ta somethin worthwhile to be talkin bout!" I immediately changed back and sat down as if nothing else happened.

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One day, Dumbledore, Sirius, and I went to the Ministry to talk to Amelia Bones when I saw the Minister. Having something important to say, I flagged him down.

"Yes, Ms. Black?" Well, jeez, he sounded irritated!

"I know something that you don't!" I said in a sing-songy voice and skipped off after Dumbledore and dad.

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I stood outside handing out little post-its with the Order's adress on it. Sirius came up to me to see what I was doing, and I shouted, "Read all about it! Read all about it!" And when Sirius looked down at the post-it, he saw "The Order Of The Phoenix is located at Number 12, Grimmauld Place."

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I was sitting in the kitchen, and anytime someone walked in I would scream, waking up Mrs. Black, and Remus and Dung would race up the three flights to close the portrait.

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Mrs. Weasley was listening to ANOTHER Celestina Warbeck song, and I shouted, "Jaysus lady! Do you even get that she is like, the worst singer EVER!"

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Harry was sitting in on this meeting (Hermione was holding the wands) and everytime they mentioned the dreaded Prophecy, I gasped loudly and 'fainted'.

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The moment I woke up that morning, I started talking like Yoda. And when everyone asked why, my reply was, "Cuz he's cool. DUH!"

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Hermione was really bored, so she grabbed green and black markers and drew the Dark Mark on my arm.

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The next day, I wore a short sleeved t-shirt just to show off my new tattoo, and I screamed, "I'M A DEATHEATER! BEWARE!"

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The next Order meeting (Harry was holding the wands again) Dumbledore had many ideas. I told everyone that they were the rules and if they didn't follow them... something very bad would happen...

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We were cleaning the parlor up after a Death Eater attack, and everytime I cast a spell, I made a light-saber noise, just because.

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Every single day I ask, "Why doesn't the Light have a mark too?" and I never get an answer. Grr.

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Finally, as the last day of summer ended and the fun came to an end, I tacked the list I had recorded of all the pranks I pulled in my room in Grimmauld Place, for everyone to see.

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A/N: Well, that's a wrap! I don't own any of this, sadly. :(

Reviews Time:

alone again-forever alone: Thanks! I'm glad, I wanted you to laugh reading as much I did writing. And I emailed you the cookie, hope you get it!

xXxPadfoot's GalxXx: Oh, don't we all wish we could be Padfoot's Gal? And yes, I know! lol is a good way to describe the story :)

rubiks cube solver: Thank you! *bows*


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